I can hardly believe that today I officially completed my 21-day purification cleanse. Looking back at where I was three weeks ago, it was hard to see the destination and I certainly could not have imagined I would feel the way I do. This process, from a physical and mental standpoint, has truly altered me. I am evidence of the fact that you can change your behaviors and develop new habits in just 21 days.

One thing I know to be true about myself is that when I set my mind to something, I will make it happen. I don’t always believe in myself at first but usually, in a short period of time, I remember what I am capable of. I always want to be an inspiration for others and to let my courage extend to those who may not be able to find the bravery in themselves. I am often underestimated and I love to prove people wrong. Perhaps it is my stubbornness. Perhaps it is my sheer force of will. Whatever the case, I will not be counted out or written off. I am capable of accomplishing great things in my life and I will not stop trying to improve who I am.

The days ahead are unclear to me as I do not have a specific maintenance plan yet but I will pull that together in the next few days. I need to first ween myself off of the belief that I cannot step outside what has become my comfort zone. I will experiment a little with the introduction of new foods and examine how it makes me feel in order to determine what I am going to include in my life going forward. For sure, I need to add variety because, by dinner tonight, I was done. I was ready for something new and different. My brain is a few steps ahead of me and knows there is more and different food to be had and my body is beginning to crave increased variety. Tonight, as I ate my (delicious) spaghetti squash with homemade tomato sauce and the rest of my family ate ravioli and sausage, I found myself wanting to take a big bite into the sausage. I refrained for many reasons but, mostly, because I knew that I would feel bloated and uncomfortable if I did. So, I am going to continue use what I have learned and what I now know to be true about my body to guide me on the next leg of this journey.

What I consumed:

  • Cleanse Shake with strawberries, bananas, blueberries and pineapple
  • Grilled chicken with olive oil, lemon juice and shallots
  • 1/2 head of cauliflower with sea salt and pepper
  • 4 dates
  • Spaghetti squash with homemade tomato sauce
  • 10 gigantic supplement capsules
  • 64 oz water

How I felt:

I woke up this morning definitely feeling better than yesterday. What felt like a rock living in my stomach seemed to have subsided a bit and I was able to get out to the gym this morning. I do think I had a bit of an overdose on the fiber so I have backed off that a bit. By this evening, I was nearly back to 100%. I continue to have tons of energy and am feeling very comfortable and content. The cravings did start creeping back in today, especially when I was organizing the pantry and found four – yes, four – packages of cookies that my son had been slipping in under my nose. I looked at them, fantasized about them for a moment or two, and then moved on. I don’t need them. If I am going to indulge, it is going to be on some delicious meal, not Chips Ahoy.

Physical Activity:

57 minutes on the elliptical.  I wanted to get a workout in today because I missed yesterday and because I am traveling for work starting tomorrow for 4 days. I am brining my clothes for workouts but my time will be tight so I am going to have quick sessions in the gym. I needed to end the cleanse on a high note physically and feel prepared of the days ahead.

I need to take note of my accomplishments as a result of the cleanse:

  • 10 lbs lost
  • Workouts almost every day (I believe I only missed about 4 or 5 days total in the 21 days)
  • Mental clarity and a general happier disposition
  • Less of a dependence on food to comfort me when I am stressed or unhappy
  • Deeper understanding of when I am hungry and how different foods make me feel

The last three are actually the most important to me.  While I still have a ways to go with my weight and would have liked to have lost 15 on the cleanse, the real reward from this experience is my state of mind and my relationship with food. I have struggled to gain control over food since I was a young kid and this is, without question, the first time in my life that I feel like I can make decisions about food without fear. I know that, like sobriety, this will not always be easy and if I slip off the wagon, I will fall hard. Nonetheless, I am confident that I am up to the task. I intentionally went public with my experience and have shared my story about the cleanse with just about anyone I run into because I want to be held accountable. I want anyone who knows me to know that I have made a commitment to change my life and they should all feel free to tap me on the shoulder if they notice I have slipped. I don’t want to hide in shame or make this a secret. This is my true battle in life and I have come to learn that, even though I am the only one who can control what I put into my mouth, I do need a support system to help me avoid triggers when possible and to mitigate my risks when I am feeling vulnerable. I cannot do this alone.

The other great accomplishment that I have underplayed a lot throughout this process is my lack of dependence on Facebook. Initially, it was the hardest part of the cleanse to not have the ability to mindlessly distract myself with perusing Facebook. Now, I don’t even think about it.  I have had to go on once or twice for business-related reasons and I never ventured beyond my company page. I did check my notifications and the other day someone told me they sent me a friend request and I accepted it. I have not seen my own page and have not looked at anyone else’s. With the exception of missing a few birthdays, I feel confident that nothing went down that was necessary for me to see. I’m not sure if I will go back on but I can guarantee that I will not be reinstalling the app on my phone or iPad. I like my independence and I’m going to keep it that way.

So, this is the end of the road, for now. I’ll be checking back in periodically to share my updates and keep that accountability. I do have some lofty goals for myself for this year. I am turning 50 in 2 years and I want to be in the best shape of my life. I want to be one of those people that is not constantly thinking about being on a diet, on a diet, or feeling guilty about the fact that I have slipped off my diet. That paradigm simply doesn’t work for me anymore. I really do want to be 50, fit and fabulous. I have a lot of work to get there but this was a pretty awesome start.

Thanks for tuning in!  More to come….

One thought on “DAY TWENTY-ONE

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