SEE

seeAs I shared last week, I am now participating in Five-Minute-Fridays, a virtual flash mob for writers.  My friend Claire, a wonderful blogger herself, got me hooked on this last week.

Here are the rules:

1. Write for five minutes flat for pure unedited love of the written word.

2. Link back to Lisa Jo Baker’s blog with the rest of the Five Minute Friday-ers.

3. Comment on the person who linked up before you.

This week’s word is SEE.  I saw it this morning and have not stopped thinking about it all day.  I just started the clock so here we go.

I want to be able to see myself as others see me.  I want to have a view that looks past what is so obvious to my eyes – my big nose, crooked teeth, the rolls that have developed in places I would prefer them not to be.  I want to see deeper into me.  I want to see a reflection that stares back at me that resembles what others see when they look at me.  I want to see the radiance.  The joy.  The beauty.  I want to see what my husband sees when he looks at me and remembers the girl he fell in love with.  I want to see what my closest friends observe when they sit across a table from me and we pour our hearts out to one another.  When they look in my eyes and see my happiness or are struck by my pain.  I want to see the energy, the enthusiasm, the vivid landscape of colors that I provide to them but I remain blind to.

I looked at some photos of myself over the weekend.  I struggled at first.  They were very lovely pictures of me and some were better than others.  But they all told a story about me that I could not read.  I spoke to my friend who studied the same photos and shared with me imagery and narrative about what he saw and WHO he saw when he looked at them.  After I put down the phone, I stared into the eyes of the woman in the pictures and tried to see her.  I forced myself to look past all the familiar flaws, all the shortcomings that I generally observe.  I pushed past what showed up in my mind when I looked with my eyes and I tried to look with my friend’s eyes.  I tried to look with my husband’s eyes.  I tried to look with my children’s eyes who see a woman who they love.  The woman who gave them life.  The woman who protects them and loves them endlessly.  I tried to borrow their vision to see.

And, for the first time, I was able to SEE me.

5 thoughts on “SEE

  1. Hi there, stopped in from FMF and it’s a fun thing to do on Fridays… glad you’re joining us… I remember when I was new to this – over a year ago! It’s what got me started writing, and blogging.

    I loved your post. It resonates with probably EVERY woman on the planet (and probably men too)
    Glad you are getting a fresh perspective because I’ve found other’s opinions to be such an encouragement. We just get so caught up in our short-comings to see what they see… or what God sees.
    Have a wonderful weekend!

    • Thanks Sue! So glad to join the party. I’ve been writing for quite a while but this has helped to spice things up a bit.

      Thanks for your comment. I appreciate it a lot. Truly seeing ourselves is so hard. It is a breath of fresh air to see through someone else’s lens. Especially someone you love!

  2. This was so honest and real. I’m stopping by from FMF and today was my first time attempting to write unedited (mostly) for just 5 minutes. I love how the real us…what’s in our hearts or on our minds is what comes out in these 5 short minutes. Great post.

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